“If the deal is so good, why are you the ones looking for me?”
Central Thesis
Many forms of modern marketing do not begin with a need the customer has expressed. They first try to catch the customer's attention, then define or amplify a problem, introduce urgency and finally offer a solution.
A Recurring Feeling
We increasingly encounter very different kinds of advertising that, examined closely, seem to come from the same school. The product changes, the medium changes - television, social networks, the telephone, property, energy services - but the underlying mechanism remains surprisingly similar.
The point is not to claim that marketing is manipulation by definition. Marketing can serve a useful purpose: making a product known, explaining a service, bringing supply and demand together. The problem arises when the boundary shifts. Instead of starting from an existing need, the seller first tries to create unease, curiosity, urgency or a sense of opportunity; only then is the solution proposed.
In many cases, the customer does not enter the process saying, “I have this problem; who can help me?” The opposite happens: someone reaches out, suggests there may be a problem, shows the customer a solution and then asks for a quick decision. This reversal is what makes apparently unrelated phenomena worth examining together.
The TV Sales Pitch: Not One, but Two
The classic television sales pitch has perfected a very simple technique: shifting the question from the product's value to the quantity received. Viewers are no longer meant to ask only whether they really need the object or whether it is worth the asking price. Their attention is redirected: “You won't get one, but two.” Sometimes a third item, an accessory, a gift or free shipping is added.
The second item has considerable psychological value, even when its actual financial value is modest. The feeling of getting a bargain may become more important than the essential question: would I have bought the first item if I had not been promised the second?
The technique works because our minds compare what we receive with what we expected to receive. If we initially expected one product and suddenly get two, the offer appears to have improved. But the more rational comparison should be different: total price, quality, actual usefulness and available alternatives.
Contact Through Social Media: Who Needs Whom?
Another common pattern begins on social media. An advert arouses curiosity: “Find out how much you could earn,” “Request information,” “Check for free,” “Leave your number.” The user responds, perhaps without a specific need, simply to learn more.
Then comes the phone call, and often the first question is, “What do you need?” Here the roles are subtly but significantly reversed. The most logical reply might be, “You were the ones who contacted me.” The contact did not arise from a spontaneous, informed request by the customer; it arose from a commercial campaign designed to catch their attention.
Yet the question “What do you need?” is very useful to the seller: it helps identify the sensitive point around which to build the rest of the conversation. It is not necessarily wrong. It becomes problematic when the need is treated as if it were already clear and independent, when in fact the sales conversation itself is trying to define it.
Call Centres: The Script of the Urgent Problem
In call centres there are many variations, but the structure tends to recur. First, establish familiarity or authority. Second, announce a problem. Third, introduce urgency. Fourth, present an immediate solution.
A typical example is: “We are your provider. We are calling to inform you that your bill will rise at the end of the month. Would you like to do something about it?” The sentence contains everything: the caller presents themselves as close to the customer, anticipates financial harm and offers a way out. Within seconds, the recipient moves from calm to the feeling that they must decide.
An even stronger variation occurs when someone invokes an authority, a regulatory office or an alleged contract error: “There is an anomaly in your contract; we can fix it today.” This brings the principle of authority into play. If the recipient believes they are speaking to an institution or someone acting on its behalf, their critical guard may fall.
There is also the paternalistic script: “You're paying too much; we're here to help you.” The sales offer is linguistically turned into assistance. But if, when the customer says they no longer hold that utility account, the caller immediately brings up another former home or a contract that ended years ago, another issue emerges: many commercial databases may be incomplete, outdated or poorly linked. Confidence in a voice on the phone is therefore no proof of the quality of its information.
Property Managers and Big Numbers
In the short-term rental sector, presentations built around very large figures are common: “This home could generate €30,000,” “With us it could reach €50,000 or €60,000.” The number is striking because it is large, concrete and readily compared with an ordinary monthly rent.
But hypothetical gross revenue is not net profit. One must account for occupancy, seasonality, commissions, cleaning, linen, maintenance, utilities, taxes, empty periods, risk of damage and management time. A single annual figure might be true in some scenarios and wholly unrealistic in others.
There is a simple test of how much confidence a seller really has in their forecast: shift the risk. If someone claims a property will generate tens of thousands of euros, the owner can reply, “Then rent it yourself and pay me €800 a month.” Suddenly the forecast is no longer a promise made at someone else's risk; it becomes the seller's own financial commitment. That is often when enthusiasm begins to fade.
This does not prove that every property manager exaggerates. It does, however, suggest a useful rule: a commercial forecast carries more weight when the person making it agrees to share at least some of the risk it entails.
The Common Structure: Problem, Urgency, Solution
Putting these cases together reveals a recurring sequence. First, attention is captured. Then a problem is created or amplified. Next comes an element of urgency. Finally, a ready-made solution is presented, preferably one that seems simple and immediate.
The sequence can be summed up as follows: ATTENTION -> PROBLEM -> URGENCY -> SOLUTION -> ACTION.
The most delicate step lies in the middle. If the problem is real and the customer already perceives it, the seller is simply offering an answer. But if the problem is constructed, exaggerated or made suddenly urgent in order to force a decision, marketing moves into the territory of commercial pressure.
- 1. ATTENTION
- 2. PROBLEM
- 3. URGENCY
- 4. SOLUTION
- 5. ACTION
More Examples from the Same School
The same logic appears in many other sectors.
A free trial that becomes a subscription. The initial offer removes almost every barrier: “Try it free for 7 or 30 days.” The real financial moment comes later, when automatic renewal begins if the customer forgets to cancel. Marketing does not immediately sell the product; it sells an apparent lack of initial risk, also counting on later inertia.
A crossed-out price and a much lower one. A service is first shown with a very high price, then an exceptional discount. The first number becomes an anchor: after seeing €1,000, €390 seems cheap, even though the proper comparison should be with market value and alternatives, not with the reference price chosen by the seller.
Countdowns and scarcity. “The offer expires in 14 minutes,” “Only 2 places remain,” “Last room at this price.” Scarcity can be real, but when it is mainly a way of preventing comparison, the decision is artificially accelerated.
A free quote that becomes a sales interview. Someone asks for a simple estimate and finds themselves in a long process in which the price appears only after many questions. The more time and attention they have invested, the harder it becomes psychologically to end the negotiation.
An almost unusable basic package. The advertised price is low, but obtaining what the customer considers normal requires add-ons, coverage, services, priority access, luggage, assistance or essential functions. The real price emerges only at the end.
False personalisation. “We selected this offer just for you.” Often it is an automatic formula sent to thousands of people. The message tries to turn a mass campaign into a personal relationship.
A questionnaire leading to a predetermined solution. The customer answers a series of questions and finds that, whichever path they take, the conclusion almost always leads to the product the company wanted to sell. The questionnaire gives the impression of a diagnosis, but it can chiefly be a sales device.
Retention offers when someone tries to cancel. While the customer stays, the price seems fixed; when they ask to leave, discounts, free months and better terms suddenly appear. This shows that price is not always only the value of the service: it is also a tool for managing customer behaviour.
The Role of Words
An important part of modern marketing consists in renaming things. A sale becomes “consulting.” A salesperson becomes an “advisor.” A sales call becomes a “check.” A proposal becomes an “opportunity.” A high price becomes an “investment.” Turning an offer down becomes “missing an opportunity.”
Words are not neutral, because they change how we perceive a situation. “Would you like to buy?” is not the same as “Would you like to take advantage of this opportunity?” In the second question, refusal is implicitly turned into the loss of something.
The most effective language hardly ever gives a direct order. It suggests that a rational, prudent or intelligent person would naturally make the proposed choice. Commercial pressure thus becomes less visible precisely because it takes the form of an apparently spontaneous decision.
Healthy Marketing and Pressure Marketing
The distinction is not between advertising and no advertising. A business has the right to present its products in the best light. The real difference lies in its relationship with the customer's autonomy.
Healthy marketing provides understandable information, allows comparison, also sets out limitations, does not conceal unavoidable costs and gives people time to decide. Its message might be: “This is what I offer; this is what it costs; these are its benefits and these are its limits. Decide whether you need it.”
Pressure marketing follows a different logic: “You have a problem you may not have known about. You must solve it. I can do that. You should decide now.” In this second form, the seller does not merely compete on the quality of the solution; they also try to control how the customer interprets the problem and how much time is available to choose.
Questions That Put the Customer Back at the Centre
When faced with a highly persuasive offer, we need not become suspicious of everything. A few simple questions are enough to bring the decision back onto rational ground:
- Did I have this need before someone contacted me?
- What is the total cost, not just the initial price?
- Why must I decide today?
- Can I independently verify what I am being told?
- What happens if I do nothing?
- What risk does the seller take, and what risk remains with me?
- If the deal is so good, why are you the ones looking for me?
These questions are not meant to make us reject an offer automatically. They restore the proper position of the two parties: the seller must demonstrate the value of the proposal; the buyer need not prove that they need to buy it.
Conclusion: The Same School
TV sales pitches, social media, call centres, consultancy, property services and subscriptions seem like different worlds. Yet many of their techniques belong to the same school: shifting attention, creating a favourable point of reference, introducing urgency, invoking authority, turning a sale into help, making a standardised offer appear personal and leaving most of the risk with the customer.
Not all of this is necessarily unlawful, and not all of it is necessarily unfair. Persuasion has always been part of commerce. But precisely because its methods have grown more sophisticated, recognising their structure has become important.
The decisive question is not only, “Is it worth it?” First we should ask, “Was this need mine, or was it constructed during the sale?” And immediately afterwards: “If the proposal really is so good, who bears the risk if the promises do not come true?” These are two simple questions, but they can turn the target of a commercial campaign back into a customer able to choose.
Note: the examples describe recurring commercial techniques. They do not imply that every company or salesperson using one of these expressions is acting improperly. The decisive criteria remain transparent information and the customer's genuine freedom to verify, compare and decide.
What I Would Like to Leave My Children
Do not mistrust someone merely because they want to sell you something. But pause when someone tries to decide for you what you lack and how quickly you must put it right. Ask for the full cost, check the promises and give yourselves time to compare. A sound offer should not be afraid of your questions. Your freedom to say yes has value only if your freedom to say no remains intact.
Papy